Raff (The Vorge Crew Book 4) Read online

  “What’s that?”

  “They didn’t want anything serious. It was like a game again. You know? Just having sex to have sex and nobody wanted to enter real relationships. I wanted no part of that and once again, I didn’t fit in. The men were rude to me after I turned them down.”

  “They don’t sound like good males.”

  “Tell me. The real reason I left the farm was to meet a guy. Do you know what it was like watching my parents and grandparents be together while I was always alone? I wanted to have what they did. Someone to love and be happy with for the rest of my life. I never met anyone my age or even close to it on the farm. All the seasonal workers were always way older or already married.”

  “You met me.”

  She smiled. “I did. You’re the best thing about all this, Raff.” Then she felt sadness. “But we don’t know each other to be married yet or have babies. It also means I have to pick between an uncertain future with you or trying to find a way to get back to my family. You said Earth is a banned planet. It hurts thinking I won’t ever be able to see them again.” Tears filled her eyes.

  He moved from the table to sit on the couch next to her and just scooped her up into his arms, setting her on his lap. “Two things, Lilly.”

  She sniffed, wiping at her tears. “What?”

  “Our future isn’t uncertain. I am not like the humans you’ve known. I want forever with you and children. There will be no other females. No games. I don’t play them. Everything about me is serious.”

  She could believe that about him.

  “Also, there is no way to return to Earth. I’ve told you why. I can promise you though that you can send communications to your family. There’s no ban on that and if there ever is, I’ll break the law for you. You can see your family through comms.”

  She turned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. It broke her heart to hear him say she’d never get to hug her parents and grandparents again. That’s what it boiled down to. Sobs hit her but he held her.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered against her hair. “We’ll send them comms as much as you wish. You won’t lose your family.”

  Raff felt guilt when he ignored the door chime. It had to be Midgel with their food. Consoling Lilly was more important. She finally cried all her tears and he carried her into the bathroom to take a shower. He promised her food when she was done. He crossed his cabin, opened the door, and went to pick up the covered meals. That wasn’t all that waited outside the door.

  Cathian looked up at him from where he sat in the hallway, legs stretched out, ankles crossed, and a data pad in hand. “It’s about time. I thought I’d be out here for hours.” He reached up and tapped his ear. “One said your female is upset and why.”

  Raff stepped out into the hallway and let the door close behind him. “Don’t,” he threatened.

  Cathian frowned. “I haven’t said anything.”

  “You’ll want to find a way to get a transport to return Lilly to Earth. They are selling their females. She will remain safe with me.”

  “I wouldn’t do that. The Pods read you before you even stepped foot on The Vorge and warned it would be a bloodbath if any of us tried to get between you and that female. We weren’t waiting for you outside the cargo hold. The area was cleared to give you and Lilly privacy.” Cathian set down the pad and climbed to his feet. “Do you really think I’d try to take away someone who matters so much to you?”

  “You wouldn’t if you’re smart.”

  A grin spread across Cathian’s face. “I’m happy you found a female. Shocked.” His humor died. “But relieved too. Three said the female is torn between wanting to be with you and trying to return to her family.”

  Raff nodded. There was no reason to deny it.

  Cathian reached inside his pant pocket and held out an ear piece. Raff scowled at it, not moving to take it.

  “One is on the other end of this. Do you want help or not?”

  “What is he going to do?”

  “Read your female’s thoughts, help you say the right words to her, and get her to agree to life-lock to you. I asked the medical android to save the scans it took of her for the medical procedure. It can be done at any time.”

  Raff took a step back. “There will be no procedure done.”

  Cathian opened his mouth, looking furious, but he paused. “What do you mean he isn’t able to give her his second heart?”

  Raff moved fast, tearing the small device from his cousin’s ear, and threw it on the floor. He yelled in his head. Stop reading my thoughts and sharing them with Cathian, damn you. You never want to piss me off.

  Cathian scowled at him. “Was that necessary? The Pods are trying to help and from the look on your face, you just threatened them.”

  Raff growled low.

  “We all want you to keep your human.”

  Raff believed that. “I’ll win her on my own.”

  “Fine. Explain to me why you won’t life-lock to her then. That will prove to her that you’re serious about your intentions to keep her forever. She has doubts about that.”

  “I’m not you.”

  “God damn it, Raff.” Cathian looked angry again. “I get it that you had a bad childhood, but you can’t bring a human onboard to just have sex with. The Pods said you’re serious about this Lilly and have deep feelings. That means life-locking to her.”

  Raff moved fast, pinning his cousin against the wall. “I can’t because I don’t have a second heart.”

  Surprise etched across his cousin’s face. Raff released him, spun away, and put a few feet between them. He didn’t want to see the look in Cathian’s eyes. “I have some of my mother’s traits,” he confessed.

  “I didn’t know.”

  “I didn’t tell you.”

  “Tell me now.”

  Raff turned, prepared to see pity. His cousin showed none. Just curiosity.

  “I don’t have a second heart and I’ve never gone into heat.”

  Cathian’s mouth opened but he said nothing.

  “My seed is always fertile. I had the android run tests on me when I first came onboard and ordered it to erase the results when we were done. Your family hates me enough without discovering that I’m flawed.”

  “I don’t give a damn what the Vellars think or feel.” Cathian stepped closer and raised his hand, gripping his shoulder. “You are not flawed in any way. Never say that again.”

  Raff gave a sharp nod but it made him feel relief that his cousin wasn’t repulsed.

  “Do you want to keep Lilly? Bond to her?”

  “Yes.”

  “What do you need to do to make that happen?”

  “I don’t think there is a physical way to lock us together,” he admitted. “People on G4 just decide to live together and breed. Once children come, they tend to stay together.”

  “What did your mother tell you?”

  “That one day I’d feed off a compatible female and it would trigger my heat cycles to begin. I fed off at least half a dozen different females. When that didn’t happen, she said they weren’t a match. It was denial on her part. She was able to feed a Tryleskian and couldn’t have been the only one on the damn planet compatible to my father.”

  Cathian nodded. “Agreed. Have you fed from Lilly?”

  “Yes.”

  “Nothing?”

  He smiled. “I wouldn’t call giving her pleasure or how good she tastes nothing.”

  A chuckle escaped Cathian. “True. I feast on Nara all the time and I’m no longer in heat.”

  “The android said I should be able to get a human pregnant. I don’t care about going into heat. My seed is fertile all the time.”

  “Do you know if you’ll have litters?”

  Raff shrugged. “I would like to have young with Lilly. I don’t care if it’s one or more at a time.”

  “Good answer.” Cathian released him. “York had a ceremony with Sara. I’ll sit the crew down and we’ll come up with something sp
ecial for the two of you. I am an ambassador and captain of a ship. It gives me certain powers. I’ve also had to inform our home world of life-locked males with alien females before who live on other planets. I’ll do that with you and Lilly to make it official. The Vellars never need to know you don’t have a second heart.”

  “That’s breaking a rule.”

  “Fuck the rules.”

  Raff grinned. “Do it. I wish I could see the faces of our fathers when they learn I have a female. It’s going to upset them greatly.”

  “I’ll record the live comms when I tell them. You can have a copy of it. When do you want this ceremony?”

  Raff thought about it. “I’ll let the Pods know. I need more time to convince Lilly.”

  “I have faith in you.”

  Chapter Eight

  Lilly couldn’t help but smile. Raff was going out of his way to be a total sweetheart. She’d taken a shower and when she’d come out, he had a meal set up for them on the bed. He’d excused himself to get clean, before joining her. They’d eaten and he’d shared nice stories about him and his mother.

  It made her ache for him when he told of how his mother had been murdered. The pain in his voice had made her reach out to touch him. He’d even had tears in his eyes.

  “They were criminals I went after,” he admitted. “I didn’t care when they were just stealing from people but then they decided to get into the meat business. They kidnapped some of the city residents to take to the outlands to use as bait.”

  That confused her. “Bait?”

  “You saw a fasis.”

  As if she could ever forget their early morning huge visitor outside the shuttle. She nodded.

  “There are a lot of large creatures that size in the outlands. Selling their meat to the cities is very profitable. The best bait to lure them into a trap is something alive and bleeding. Especially if it makes noises like screaming.”

  “I get it.” It sickened her. “How could anyone do that to someone else?”

  “That’s why I was hunting their group down. To put a stop to it. Instead they heard I was tracking them and attempted to kill me first. My mother paid the price. I wasn’t there to protect her. I’ll always live with that guilt.”

  “You had no way to know what they’d do, Raff.” She hesitated and then crawled across the bed to snuggle up against him. “You were trying to save people.”

  He put his arm around her and rested his chin on her head. “It was a dark time for me after I found her body. Then my cousin came seeking me. I thought he was an assassin sent by my blood father to kill me.”

  She gasped, peering up at him. “Why would your father do that?”

  “He’s a dick. I’m a huge embarrassment to him. It would be easier for him if I were dead and it’s not the first time he sent someone to kill me. When I was a child, my mother contacted that family trying to get me off world. G4 was dangerous. Tryleskians came but they were assassins. That cave I took you to? My mother and I lived there for a few years until we figured it was safe to return to the city.”

  “Not a dick. An asshole!” She felt anger for Raff.

  “He never meant for my mother to get pregnant and he has no honor since he abandoned us. Cathian found out about me when he took the job as ambassador. His father warned him in case my mother made another claim or I did. My cousin was ordered to destroy any comms about my claimed association to the family. Instead, it enraged Cathian. He tracked me down, apologized, and swore to stand with me against them. Then he offered me a new life at his side. That’s how I came to live on The Vorge.”

  “Your cousin sounds pretty great.”

  “Cathian is a male with honor. I trust him with my life.”

  “I can’t wait to meet him.” She meant it.

  “You’ll like everyone on this ship and they’ll feel the same way about you.”

  “I’ve never been good at making friends, remember?”

  “You’ve never met ones like us. We’re all…” he seemed to be struggling to find the right words.

  “Special?”

  He chuckled. “Yes. That’s better than what I was going to say.”

  “What was that?”

  “Flawed with qualities others don’t appreciate. We’re a loyal group. A family. It’s the first time I’ve had someone to watch my back without expecting it to come with conditions or a price. I trust them with my life and yours.”

  “Mine?”

  He stared down at her. “Yes. You’re one of us now that we’re together.”

  She studied his eyes. He appeared sincere. “Just like that, huh?”

  “Just like that.” He smiled. “They want to hold a bonding ceremony for us when you’re ready.”

  He shocked her. Was he talking about a wedding?

  “We could record it and send it to your family. That way they will get to see us join our lives together in an official capacity. I know it’s not the same as being there themselves but it’s as close as possible.”

  She teared up. Raff had a way of doing that to her. It was considerate that he’d think of her family. “Married?”

  “Same thing. Different word. Forever.”

  “I…” She was tempted to say yes.

  “What are your fears? That I’ll change my mind and later regret making a lifelong commitment to you? It won’t happen. Tryleskians bond for life. My mother’s people do as well. My mom never took another lover after my father. I wish she had but she said they’d bonded. No other male could draw her attention. I read about humans.” He scrunched up his nose and looked disgusted. “We do not divorce.”

  He almost made her laugh. “You said that like it’s a nasty curse word.”

  “It is.” He suddenly lifted her and shifted on the bed, falling back with her on top of him. The dishes from their meal rattled as the mattress moved. “I should be more worried about you, little human.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. Your world has that word. What’s to say you won’t want to leave me?” He ran his hands along her body until he cupped her ass with his hands. “I will have to show you often how good of a husband I will be and how no other male will ever give you what I can.”

  She bit her lip, realizing he had a point. Divorce rates where she came for had risen to eighty-four percent. Out of their two races, it sounded like hers was the bad bet. “You forgot about my parents and grandparents. Lifers.”

  He smiled and rolled them, pinning her loosely under him. “I like that term. Lifers. We shall be lifers, Lilly.”

  He was so handsome and she couldn’t resist reaching up to touch him. “You make it sound so easy.”

  He peered deeply into her eyes. “I’m bad at talking but you are the one thing that is easy for me. Feeling for you and wanting to keep you. I’ve felt protective and wanted you since the moment I saw you running from the Rexis and coming toward me. Every moment I’ve spent with you since makes me want even more time with you. It’s never going to be enough. How do I make you feel?”

  “You’ve been amazing at talking, actually.”

  He smiled. “You’re the only one who will ever say that. Trust me.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded. “I normally say few words. It would shock my crew if they could hear us speak.”

  She liked that a lot.

  “Answer my question. How do I make you feel?”

  “So many wonderful things,” she confessed. “Inside my head I keep telling myself we’re too different though. But then you touch me or even look at me, and I don’t care. The thought of leaving you, even if I could return to Earth, makes me hurt because I know I’d miss you. Badly.”

  “You’re never going to find out for certain. I’m right here and will remain so. Stop thinking, Lilly. I’ve survived by listening to my instincts. Tell me how you feel.”

  He wanted her to be honest. She understood that. “I’m falling in love with you, if I haven’t already.”

  His grin was large and showed of
f those sharp fangs of his. They no longer scared her. They were sexy. She knew exactly how good they felt when he lightly raked them over her skin.

  “We’re meant to be together, Lilly. My mother believed in fate, despite what the male she bonded with did to her. She said he gave her a son and that I was everything to her. I was on G4 right where I needed to be when you arrived and you ran to me. You fell right at my feet when you were shot with that stunner.”

  “Did I?” She smiled. “I was kind of distracted with the whole trying to avoid those bad guys.”

  “You did. I instantly wanted to kill to keep you safe. Instinct, Lilly.”

  “Maybe you’re just a really good guy.”

  His expression turned somber. “I’m not. For you I am and always will be. Others should fear me. Only you bring out the best in me.”

  She wanted to believe that. It sounded romantic.

  “Stay with me, Lilly. Life can be difficult but us being together is not. We’ll always have each other.”

  Something her grandfather had told her many times suddenly surfaced in her memory. It was how difficult it had been starting the solar farm and expanding it. Her family had never become rich but he’d swore that no matter what difficulties he’d faced, one kiss from her grandmother had made it all melt away. Even after all the years they’d been together.

  Raff was right. She needed to stop overthinking everything. Her grandmother would urge her to take a leap of faith. That’s what she’d done when she’d married a man who dreamed of harnessing the power of the sun.

  “Yes.”

  He leaned in closer, his lips almost brushing hers. “Yes to a bonding ceremony and accepting me?”

  She nodded. “I’m scared, I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but yes.”

  He kissed her and she closed her eyes, loving the way he made her feel. Sexy, desirable, and extremely turned on. He shifted his body over hers, pushing at her the shirt she wore. She wiggled, helping him get her out of it. He backed off and ran his golden gaze down her body.