Shadow Read online

  “There’s no need.” An idea came to him and he sank to his knees. It made them almost eye level. “I give you my word of honor that I’d never do anything to purposely frighten you or cause you alarm. Relax. I hate seeing your defensive stance.”

  She glanced down her body and dropped her arms to her sides. Her gaze lifted to meet his. “I do that when I’m unsure of a situation. I’ve always been alone and only had myself to hold when I don’t know how to handle something. Why are you on your knees?”

  “To show you that we are on the same level. I don’t want my size to frighten you.”

  “I’m actually comforted by it.” Her tongue darted out to wet her lips. “You make me feel safe. You could handle anyone who might seek me out, right?”

  He hated the way his chest tightened a little over figuring out the root of her fear. “I’d battle any male who came after you to the death. No one would get past me. I am not good at tracking from lack of opportunity but I do know how to fight. That is one skill you can depend on.”

  She took a hesitant step closer and then another until she paused in front of him. He could have reached out to touch her and was tempted to do just that. He resisted. Her eyes were softer now and all the tension had faded away.

  “What else would you do for me?”

  “What do you want?” His heart hammered and he hated where his thoughts traveled. Breeze was sure the Gift Female wanted to share sex. His dick reacted by filling with blood as he waited for her answer.

  The idea of touching her made him feel a mixture of fear and eagerness. He couldn’t deny wanting Beauty. She scented of something sweet and feminine but not of arousal. No fear lingered in the air and he took her word. Gratitude flooded him that she had that much confidence in him. It was a slight miracle in itself after what had been done to her during her captivity. He just wished he trusted himself as much.

  Images flashed through his mind of the ordeal he’d suffered. Beauty’s features weren’t fully Species. Her perky nose and rounded eyes left no doubt that she wasn’t canine or feline. The facial anomalies were much slighter than most Species. Her small body was very human. Fragile. Delicate. Easily bruised. A cold sweat broke out on his upper lip and forehead while he battled the urge to reach for her. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to just hold her to assure her she was safe or if he wanted to do more.

  Her lips beckoned. He knew what kissing was and wanted to experience it. The task force males had given him graphic details about how to do it once they’d learned he’d never shared that with a female. The few females who had been brought to him to share sex at Mercile hadn’t been with him long enough to want to want that intimacy. “Could you forget that I’m Gift and treat me as though I were just a person?” Longing flashed in her gaze when he forced his focus higher. “That’s what I want from you.”

  Her hand shook when it lifted and every muscle tightened as it drew closer to his cheek. It hovered so close he could feel the heat of her but she didn’t touch him. It dropped away.

  “I can do that,” he got out.

  “Stop being so concerned that you’re terrifying me because you don’t.” She stepped away.

  He watched her as she stared out the window. Shadow reached down to tuck his dick farther down his thigh to hide its condition before she noticed and rose to his feet. “I could do that.”

  “Good.” She smiled when she peered at him over her shoulder. “Let’s eat and then go see this river. I bet it’s pretty.”

  “We can do that later. We have plenty of time. I’d like to get us settled first and check out the area before I take you for a walk.” He fought to keep his voice level. He wanted to growl in frustration that she hadn’t asked him to carry her to bed to strip her naked and share sex.

  Don’t go there, he ordered. I could harm her with my lack of experience. They should have sent someone else. I’m not the right male to be near her. Self-disgust flashed through him over the arousal he suffered, knowing it was wrong. “I am going to go out back and carry in firewood first. We’ll have a fire tonight. Would you enjoy that?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll be right back.” He darted out the door, closing it behind him, and leaned against it. He had to adjust his dick again and ground his teeth in frustration. He hadn’t made it half an hour without wishing to strip her bare.

  “Shit.” He took a deep breath and pushed away from the cabin. He’d be carrying wood all right. His hand slid down to adjust his stiff shaft to a more comfortable walking position. “Get control,” he muttered to himself.

  Beauty grinned and hugged her chest. Her gaze returned to the window, surprisingly reflective of the kitchen behind her. She hadn’t missed it when Shadow’s hand had gone to the front of his pants before he’d risen to his feet. There was only reason he’d grab that area. He was interested in physical interaction as well but tried to hide it.

  Now she just had to figure out how to get him to initiate the sex. Her mind skimmed through everything she’d learned while watching movies and reading romance novels. That knowledge seemed sadly lacking when faced with a flesh-and-blood man, giving her the opportunity to experience good sex firsthand—the teasing, laughter, closeness and soft touches. The joy.

  Breeze’s suggestion was tempting but she didn’t want to risk rejection. It was too brazen for her. She’d have to lure him into suggesting it first. She leaned closer to the window and rose on tiptoe to watch him leave the porch. Her attention locked on his beefy ass encased in tight pants.

  She longed to feel it just to see if it was as firm as it looked. The memory of his chest lingered. He had so many muscles she wanted to explore by surfing her hands over each one. It was also unforgettable, waking to discover the state of his body when she’d identified what was nestled between her thighs after the night they’d spent together.

  Sex still frightened her a little but she knew deep down that it would be different with Shadow. She’d heard men visit her neighbors often enough that she had no doubt that it would be pleasurable. She felt strange when she looked at Shadow. Her heart always quickened and odd things happened to her belly. Little tingling sensations erupted there at that moment just thinking about it. Of course she wouldn’t ask him to leave right after he made those sexy sounds she’d overheard through the walls of her apartment. She’d definitely want his scent on her and her bedding. He smelled wonderful to her.

  Scenarios began to play in her thoughts. She could ask him to cuddle with her on the couch to watch the television mounted over the fireplace later when he lit the fire. She wanted to experience that sensation. He might take that for a green light to do more. They could watch a romantic movie. The women in the dorm always loved them. She tossed that idea after considering that men probably didn’t enjoy those.

  She dropped flat to her feet and paced, deep in thought. It was unlikely that watching guy movies about blowing things up and shooting guns would put him in the mood to offer to share sex. She sighed. It was frustrating wanting something but being unsure of how to accomplish it.

  The last romance book she’d read flashed through her mind and she paused. It had worked for the heroine of the book. The man had not only come to her bed but it had initiated their sexual relationship. A plan began to form. Excitement made her laugh.

  Chapter Six

  It is all going wrong! Beauty blinked back tears of frustration at her lack of success in luring Shadow into carrying her to bed. She’d purposely tripped and fallen against his chest while he’d been preparing their meal in the kitchen. She’d offered to help just to gain the opportunity to set that circumstance in motion. He should have looked down at her, their gazes fused, and then planted a kiss on her. Instead he’d righted her immediately and apologized for being in her way.

  Their romantic dinner had turned out to be a bust. He’d avoided looking at her the entire time they’d been seated next to each other at the bar. He’d pulled out a gun magazine, stating it was research. The only conversation they
’d shared had been about new security measures the NSO was taking. He’d explained details about their latest monitoring equipment.

  Every time she’d tried to steer the topic to romance, Shadow had become flustered. His cheeks had darkened in hue and it had been kind of cute how he’d stuttered his words. Apparently, he wasn’t comfortable discussing anything personal. Dinner had ended and she’d known they’d relax in the living room together afterward.

  It made Beauty feel inept as a woman. That ability to naturally flirt with men seemed utterly lacking in her case. Self-pity wasn’t her style though, regarding her lack of even a semblance of a normal life up until she’d been freed. She’d just have to try harder to figure out how to pique his interest in having sex.

  The fire in the hearth was lit but instead of sitting next to her on the couch where she’d left him plenty of space, he sat in a chair across the room.

  “You can sit next to me,” she hinted, imagining leaning against him and curling up to his side.

  “I’m fine here.” He yawned. “I am tired and I don’t want to fall asleep. The couch is too cushioned for me.”

  The flames held her stare but not her attention. That was on the man to her left. From the corner of her eye, she saw him cross his ankles. The chunky boots he wore looked uncomfortable. It gave her an idea as she shifted her body to watch him.

  “Do you want me to remove your boots? I could do that for you.” She’d seen a movie where the wife had done that for her husband when he’d come home from work. He’d kissed her afterward in thanks. “It would be no trouble.”

  “I am capable of removing them myself. I will take them off before I go to bed.” He scowled. “I’m not a weak male.”

  “I didn’t say you were. I just wanted to be nice.”

  “You are.” His head leaned back and he stared at the ceiling.

  She followed his gaze, seeing nothing interesting in the wood beams. He seemed fascinated though. The wind outside buffeted the side of the cabin and rattled the windows. Shadow responded by leaping to his feet, instantly alert.

  “Stay put. I’m going outside to patrol.”

  “It’s nothing.” She didn’t want him to leave.

  He paused by the door, finally meeting her gaze. “It’s late. We should prepare for sleep when I return. Go ahead and go to your room. I’ll be back soon and put out the fire.”

  She started to tell him it was too early—just after eight—but he was gone before she could speak. The closing door and a lot of disappointment was all she was left with. She’d have received an F if she’d been graded on her make-a-man-want-her skills.

  “Damn it,” she muttered, knowing she was reverting to the human talk, though she kept trying to break that habit. “Shit. Fuck. Screw this,” she kept going, pacing. Species were hard to deal with. Human guys had always asked her to be nice to them. The guards had always been interested in her but Shadow seemed immune. It confused and confounded her.

  She went upstairs to get the phone from her bag. She called Breeze. The Species answered on the first ring.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “No.”

  “Did he do something wrong?” A growl resonated over the line. “I’ll beat him.”

  “I fell against him but he just put me back on my feet. I invited him to sit next to me but he chose a seat all the way across the room. Why isn’t it working? I don’t think he wants me. I was sure those tactics would provoke a response.”

  The pause was a long one. “You what?”

  “I fell against him, believing he’d be tempted to kiss me but he didn’t.”

  “I told you what to do. Remove your clothing and tell him to share sex with you.”

  “I’m not that bold.” Beauty cocked her head, listening for the door downstairs to make certain he didn’t return to overhear her conversation. “I don’t think he returns my interest.”

  “He’s male and breathing.” Breeze chuckled. “He’s just clueless about exactly what you want from him. You need to be more aggressive.”

  “I’m not you.” She hated the way it made her feel to admit that, as if she lacked something essential but she couldn’t deny being a bit shy. “I freeze up when I even consider something that forward and what if he rejects me? I’d be mortified. I couldn’t face him and we’re sharing a home.”

  “Do you want me to call him and tell him for you? I would totally do that. I have the number for his cell phone.”

  “No! I just wanted advice.”

  “I gave you that. Strip. Tell him to remove his clothes. That’s all it’s going to take, Beauty. He won’t reject you. He has no female in his life.”

  “Couldn’t you just tell me how to get him interested without me showing him my body first?”

  “You could tell him you wish to share sex. That will clear up any confusion.”

  “I’m searching for a milder approach.”

  “Is this what you learned from humans? It’s amazing they ever share sex.” Breeze was silent for a moment. “I’m not an expert on this. I attempted to initiate sex with a human and he didn’t respond as expected. How about if we pull Shadow and replace him with a task force member? Maybe a human male would be more suited to you.”

  The concept of allowing anyone but Shadow to touch her killed any desire she had to find out what happened between two consenting people during sex. “No. I want him.”

  “Are you sure? I could make a few calls.”

  “I want Shadow.”

  “He’s the only male you’ve spent time with. You might like another one. I could send a few of them there. We’d have to move you to the hotel though. No way would Valiant handle the residents of Wild Zone if they sniffed humans. I could—”

  “Forget I asked. I’ll figure this out on my own. Don’t send anyone else.”

  “Fine. Call me any time.”

  “Thank you.”

  Beauty ended the call and stashed the phone. She strained to hear the door as she quickly stripped out of her clothes and put on a nightgown. A slight noise below assured her of his return. Her gaze fixed on the open doorway in anticipation of watching him walk up the stairs. It wasn’t a long wait.

  He paused by her doorway and glanced down her body. She knew the pale-blue sleepshirt wasn’t sexy. She didn’t own anything that could be considered that by anyone’s standards but it did have a low neckline. The NSO paid for everything she owned and they’d purchased it all online. In this case it was an oversized sleepshirt that fell to her knees, three times too big, and the arms of it were long enough to reach her elbows.

  “Good night. I’ll be right next door.” He looked away. “Do you want this closed?”

  “No. I’d prefer the door open.”

  “You can sleep at ease. Nothing will get inside without me hearing it.” He turned, ready to step away.

  “Shadow?”

  He paused, turned his head and stared at her. “Yes?”

  Nerves made her feel a little nauseous. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to share her room. Her heart rate increased and a lump seemed to form in the center of her throat, blocking her from speaking.

  “Good night, Beauty.”

  He was gone. She didn’t hear his bedroom door close and wondered if he’d left his open as well. Her shoulders slumped over losing her chance to invite him to sleep in her bed. Light came on under the door to the bathroom they shared, letting her know he was in there. Moments later water came on.

  She sat on the bed staring at the tiny crack along the bottom of the bathroom door. The shower door creaked. The memory of his mostly naked body concealed only by the flag surfaced. Shadow had a great body, all muscled and beefy. His hair wouldn’t take long to wash since it was so short.

  The layout of the bathroom replayed in her mind and she focused on the part where he’d be standing under the spray of water. The urge to go join him was strong. Breeze or Rusty would just saunter in there, strip, and step into the stall with him. They’d ha
ve the courage to lay hands on his skin and tell him to do whatever they wanted.

  Beauty sat still. She was living alone with a man she wanted but couldn’t talk herself into acting bold. It made her feel like a big coward. The water shut off, he opened the shower door and she got to imagine him using a towel to dry off. The light clicked off and silence reigned inside the cabin.

  Shadow stretched out on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He’d chosen to sleep in one of the pairs of boxers his human friends from the task force had given him, as opposed to being naked. He hated wearing any clothing when he slept but the open doorway to the hall was lit from Beauty’s room. She hadn’t turned off her light. It left him wondering what she was doing in there.

  It was very quiet in the cabin, no sounds of life besides the wind buffeting the structure occasionally. The dorm he’d recently moved into always held a little noise. Occasional males speaking in the hallways or doors closing somewhere. One of his neighbors enjoyed video games a little loud. It had been welcome after the imposing silence of living in the basement at the task force headquarters. He missed Wrath and wished he could call him.

  His best friend and his mate had just moved into a house at Homeland. They needed time to settle in and he didn’t want to bother them. It wasn’t late so he needn’t worry that he’d disturb their sleep but he knew they’d been looking forward to spending time alone. Privacy wasn’t something they’d had much of in their previous quarters.

  He turned on his side, staring at the hallway. He should be back at Homeland acquainting himself with his new duties. Living amongst so many Species had been pleasant. They welcomed him with open arms and he’d started to make more friends. Then Beauty had decided to run in the rain.

  He couldn’t regret meeting her but resented the way he’d been manipulated into becoming a test subject. He’d sworn to never allow that to happen again. The fact that it might involve anything sexual really put him in a foul mood. No one had considered his feelings. He didn’t want any part of being someone’s guinea pig.